A decently married woman

 A decently married woman


I heard this term while I was working as a volunteer victim support as a witness support volunteer. I was working at the Crown Court in Manchester I was supporting victims of crime who would come to give evidence in the court most of the volunteers were older women. When I think back now on the phrase ‘a decently married woman’ used by one of them while talking to the other, as they spent some of their time there gossiping, and the other woman murmured agreement. I realise now that there is much prejudice and small-mindedness. 


What does recently married woman mean? what does it imply? 

Does it imply that women who aren’t married are not decent. 

does it imply complaint on the part of the person saying the phrase that they had to be married and they would rather not have been, and they justify that by saying ‘decent’ for being married ?

is it a victim statement? ‘decently married woman’, so held in defiance as a sort of shield against those who dare not be ? 

is it judgement upon others  who have chosen not to be ? 

and does it make people less of a victim if they were not decently married married women?

 so if you’re not decently married you don’t belong to a man not owned by a man so you’re not a man’s property you are therefore worth less or even worthless.

I begin to fear for the small-minded people are the majority and that they are winning.

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