Joseph

 While I was at primary school we learnt the words to songs from the musical Joseph and his technicolour dream coat. I took in particular to one particular song it was ‘close every door to me’ and it goes ‘ close every door to me keep those I love from me, darken my daytime and torture my nights, for I know I will find my own peace of mind, for I have been promised a land of my own. ‘ and this song resonated with me and it still does, I used to sing it all of the time. I felt like that person kept in darkness, kept with bars on the windows and the daylight blocked and, if I’d had anyone who loved me, kept from those that love me. this song told me that one day I would arrive at a place that I deserved, a place of happiness, of love. this song kept me going all the way through my teenage years, my 20s. At counselling I was asked where did I derive my strength from ,I’m such a strong person to have been through every thing I have, where did that strength come from? and I said it was this song and my therapist disagreed, she shook her head. but I have no other answer then this song. This tells me is that even four years before the gang rape at home I felt oppressed in a dark and barred place, alone.