Tired mums

 Tired mums

I think that single mums escaping domestic violets are in a particularly difficult situation.

I could not take maternity leave because as a single mum maternity pay did not cover the rent so I had to work.

It is possible that as I was renting a home that they would’ve been top up benefits available to a single mum on nothing else but maternity pay to help cover the cost of the rent

However this was complicated by the fact I owned a house too are and for that reason I believe I would not have been eligible for housing benefit to put a roof over mine and my babies head as it would’ve been seen that I had home.

However I could not use that home because I was escaping a violent partner.

All of this combined of course with postnatal depression meant that the only course of action seem to be available was to work full time and pay full-time childcare and pay my rent.

Full-time childcare cost me half of my income so I then had to pay my rent and all my bills on half a salary and of course I would’ve earned too much then to be eligible for any help. so full-time was very full time and I paid for 10 hours childcare every day. that’s 50 hours a week, but I was only paid for 37 hours of work. 

each day was 12 hours long because of the commute to work, 10 hours at nursery and the commute home from work. and every day I thought that I might fall down and every day, because I’m so very tired, I pray that they give me my baby back quickly at the nursery but here I would collapse before they hand a baby to me and I obviously didn’t want an intervention. I didn’t want anyone to find out that I was that tired while I was handing me a baby in case they refused or called for help and I needed to get the baby and get in the car where at least I’d be sitting down and drive home safely as possible, as I have the baby in the car. 

and  11 or 12 hours after setting out in the morning I’ll be back home. and I followed the advice of the mental health services, because I was being treated for my postnatal depression, to then give him some tea, bath, massage, a book and bed. so the days are very long for me and I was always very tired. in addition to this when my mother started to die my baby was 10 months old. And so added onto my days was the need to visit the hospital and ultimately the hospice where she died. and so in addition to my 12 hour days I had a long commute to the hospital an hours drive away and in addition to lacking sleep because I was also still breastfeeding, I then started to lack eating too, because there was no time for food as I’d already had to give up everything but work and sleep and then there was nothing else to give up but food at this point. At least when the breastfeeding stopped, when I did sleep I wasn’t also having the life sucked out of me during the night.

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