Keeping in touch sooner

 They often talk about controlling relationships about people that seek to control their partners. That control them with violence and threats and with psychological bullying but also with their needs by meeting the needs when they need stem from somewhere but needs to be kept hidden. I needed to keep myself safe. I was not safe at home with my mum and her husband. As he would sexually assault me and they both lied to the police but he did not sexually assault me so he could continue to sexually assault me and my mother supported him in that. So to keep myself safe I had to move away and I had to keep my location secret from them.  to keep my location secret from them I then had to keep my location secret from every other member of my family and all of my friends. They were great losses there was bereavement for these losses for people that still lived with whom I could not have contact. I greaved for the living. The loss of friends was of great sadness to me. and the loss of my aunts was a great sadness to me. one of my aunts died without my ever seeing her again. 

So I entered into a controlling relationship I was a victim of a controlling relationship and he was able to be controlling because I needed to keep myself safe by having no contact with family or friends. He was able to use this to control me. It is common for controllers to separate the controlled partner from family and friends and in lots of ways for me this work was already done for him and it played in his hands but that is something I needed because I could not keep myself safe in any other way as for example the police who you might otherwise think you could turn to if you were not in a safe situation has caused me to not be safe in my own home I believe in the lies despite the fact that why else would I have called them?