Tim - my mothers husband - not the guy with the flattop

Grieving for the living

I needed to keep myself safe. I was not safe at home with my mum and her husband. As he would sexually assault me and they both lied to the police but he did not sexually assault me so he could continue to sexually assault me and my mother supported him in that. So to keep myself safe I had to move away and I had to keep my location secret from them.  To keep my location secret from them I then had to keep my location secret from every other member of my family and all of my friends. They were great losses. there was bereavement for these losses for people that still lived but with whom I could not have contact. I grieved for the living. The loss of friends was of great sadness to me. and the loss of my aunts was a great sadness to me. one of my aunts died without my ever seeing her again. 

Tim had a habit of touching me he would come up behind me and put his arms around me and go, “hmm, if only I was 20 years younger “ and I would elbow him. but he would do it repeatedly so he was sexually assaulting me. I spoke to my mother and I told her that Tim was sexually assaulting me. she said that she would talk to Tim and then later she came back to me and said to me that she has spoken to Tim and Tim would stop doing that. but Tim did not stop doing that. Tim carried on touching me . And I spoke to my mother and I said that he has not stopped and he does keep touching me.  And she said he isn’t -  if he was doing that I would call the police. So I called the police. Because he was. 

So the police come and is very large police officer keeps me stationed in the kitchen with his physical size and tells me to make a cup of tea so he stands over me making a cup of tea. Meanwhile A second officer speaks to my mother and Tim. I can hear them talking. Tim says that I’m making it up. He says that I’m getting back at them for giving away my pet dog. I have never had a dog. In fact I don’t like dogs. Mum backs him up.

The police leave. both my mother and Tim have lied to them despite it being my mothers requirement that I call them in the first place. So I cannot keep myself safe in my own home; my stepfather will not stop sexually assaulting me and my mother has lied to the police, and to me, to allow him to continue to sexually assault me. So I have to leave to keep myself safe. My leaving home is  a situation that my mother has engineered by telling me to call the police if he was sexually assaulting  me, which she knew he was because I had told her he was, and then lying to the police when they got there so the only method I had to keep myself is to move out.

I feel I need to add a footnote to those that feel the teams actions don’t meet the criteria of sexual  assault, grabbing at someone who does not want to be grabbed at, even after they elbow  you to show their displeasure and discomfort I with your actions. if you feel that his actions fell short of sexual assault I understand where you’re coming from but in this context I have been gang raped when I was 11 years old in my own home and my mother knew this. so she knew that even if other people could tolerate such behaviour from their mother’s husband But my previous experience of sexual assault would make me more sensitive to an act of sexual assault in my own home. and of course is still the fact that my mother lied to the police so she must’ve felt there was something to cover up or she would not have lied. If there was nothing wrong with his actions she could’ve said to the police, ‘yes he is doing that’ . and she didn’t say that. she said he’s not doing that, she’s just cross about the dog.